Customer Service in 2020

September 16, 2008 at 10:17 am 5 comments

 

Operator : “Thank you for calling Pizza Galaxy Kholi . May I have your…”

Customer: “Hello, can I order..”

Operator : “Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?”

Customer: “It’s eh…, hold…….. ..on….. .889861356102049 998-45-54610”

Operator : “OK… you’re… Mr Singh and you’re calling from 43rd Floor, Akask View Apt, Cantt Road, ……..

Your home number is 4094! 2366, your office 76452302 and your mobile is

0142662566. Which number are you calling from now Sir?”

Customer: “Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?

Operator : “We are connected to the system Sir”

Customer: “May I order your Seafood Pizza…”

Operator : “That’s not a good idea Sir”

Customer: “How come?”

Operator : “According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir”

Customer: “What?… What do you recommend then?”

Operator : “Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You’ll like it”

Customer: “How do you know for sure?”

Operator : “You borrowed a book entitled “Popular Hokkien Dishes” from the National Library last week Sir”

Customer: “OK I give up… Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?”

Operator : “That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is Rs 2249.99”

Customer: “Can I pay by! credit card?”

Operator : “I’m afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank Rs10,720.55 since October last year.

That’s not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.”

Customer: “I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives”

Operator : “You can’t Sir. Based on the records, you’ve reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today”

Customer: “Never mind just send the pizzas, I’ll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?”

Operator : “About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can’t wait you can always come and collect it on your scooter.. .”

Customer: ” What!”

Operator : “According to the details in system, you own a Lambretta 1969 Vintage Scooter,…registration number USE 8999…”

Customer: ” ????”

Operator : “Is there anything else Sir?”

Customer: “Nothing… by the way… aren’t you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?”

Operator : “We normally would Sir, but based on your records you’re also diabetic…. … “

Customer: #$$^%&$@$%^

Operator : “Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 11th Nov 1986 you were convicted for using abusive language on a policeman who stopped you for driving through a one way, in fact you were driving a 1973 Ambassador bearing registeration number UTD 4267…….

Customer: [Faints]

*This one is except the filipina customer care of Damas;). You can check it out the exact contrary to the above customer service in this post http://thepurplejournal.wordpress.com/2008/09/15/customer-service/ *

 

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Entry filed under: FUN. Tags: , , .

Three Grades Tips for Happy Life

5 Comments Add your own

  • 1. nadia  |  September 16, 2008 at 10:53 am

    LOL! My goodness, ALL that information?! I’d rather just go out and get the pizza myself then 😉

    ##################################################################
    Hehe…right..we dont want to waste time either.

    Reply
  • 2. Wakas Mir  |  September 16, 2008 at 11:02 am

    Ooops 😛 I aint ordering my food from that place… hehe
    ####################################
    Tht’s an impact of this advance customer service..lol

    Reply
  • 3. Amir  |  September 16, 2008 at 4:03 pm

    Haha, I’ve seen different versions of this…still amusing 🙂

    Reply
  • 4. Ab  |  September 17, 2008 at 5:47 am

    Haha yep this is what computerization will lead to in the future! Good one!
    ####################

    Yep, Rightly said:)

    Reply
  • 5. BholiBhali  |  September 18, 2008 at 3:03 am

    My God 😛 no way we going to order anything ever 😛 hehe, poor customer, i wud have fainted long b4..

    Btw new layout looks nice 😀

    ########################################3
    LOL! and thanks for the compliment 🙂

    Reply

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